Feeling a Shift

Romans 15:13 – ‘Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost’

I have been big fan of all things Halloween for as long as I can remember. When John and I lived in Washington, we had huge Halloween parties every year. We went all out. We decorated the house, the yard, and even had a haunted tunnel to walk through that led from the street to our back door. It was a party filled with lots of food (none of it good for you) and I absolutely guarantee there was a large margarita somewhere close to me. Admittedly, more than one. Not only that, but I was also a huge horror movie fan. You name the movie, I’ve probably seen it. As soon as the latest scary movie came out, I would drag John (or any other willing sucker) down to the cinema to watch it.

Why am I telling you this? Because in the past year or so, I’ve felt a shift. A shift in my life for sure, but also a shift in my outlook and my tastes. I have to be honest, I don’t quite understand it. Is this what they mean by being filled with the Holy Spirit? I don’t know.

I’ve been a so-called Christian my entire life. I’ve gone to church and believed in God for as long as I’ve been on this planet. I was saved at 12 years old in my home church and spent my adult life calling myself a Christian. But, I tell you, I sure wasn’t living it. I went to church every week until my early 20s. Then, spent the next 30 years running as far away from anything that even resembled church as I could get. I’m also ashamed to admit it, but I over-indulged in everything. The harsh truth of the matter was, I believed in God, but I sure didn’t follow Him. The path I followed was my own. The one I believed was best for me. I had everything planned out and only hit my knees to pray to get myself out of a jam when my plan hit a snag.

Enter the year 2020…when my ‘perfect’ plan I had laid out for my life completely fell apart in front of my eyes. God had let me do things my own way for many years. Then He brought me to a crossroads where I was forced to make a choice. To follow Him and to trust His plan for my life, or continue to struggle and try to do things my own way. Following His plan meant a huge life change. A new job, a new state, and whole new way of life. However, it also brought me back to church. Here’s where the shift comes in. John & I both felt convicted to be baptized and join our current church. When I did that, I felt something I haven’t felt my entire life as a so-called Christian. The things I had such an interest in before and was so passionate about, just felt… off.

Let’s get back the Halloween thing, for example. It has completely lost its appeal. The scary movies and the horror of that season is not only something I’m no longer interested in, but I can’t even watch it. The one or two times I’ve tried to turn on something like that, I don’t get very far into it before I find myself wanting to turn it off. If you know me, you know how unusual that really is. My tastes have completely changed. I find myself seeking a true relationship with God, wanting to glorify Him in everything that I do. I enjoy going to church each week and hearing what that pastor has to say. I actually pay attention and take notes, learning what I can in Sunday school and the services. I love learning new things about the Bible and how to be a better follower of Christ. And while life is still hard, I have a peace and a joy that makes no sense to me. As I’m writing this, I don’t know how the people that know me best, that have known me for years, will feel about this. But, I feel compelled to say something about it.

It’s the main reason I felt moved to start this blog. I’m a huge introvert, but I want people to know this feeling. I want people to be able to have the peace and joy that comes from following Christ and God’s plan for your life. No… it won’t be easy. But, it WILL be worth it. To sit here and look back over my life and be able to see His work in it, is something I never thought I’d see. I am so far from the perfect Christian, but I’m also so very grateful I was given the chance to strive to be one.