Suffering – A Part of Life

Why must we endure so much suffering? This question has plagued mankind for ages. Here’s a little spoiler.. I don’t have many answers.

Having lost both of my parents, I watched them both suffer, in very different ways at the end of their lives. My Dad, while a good man and a great father, never took care of himself physically as a younger man. So, that caught up with him in his elder years. I watched him suffer through heart attacks, open heart surgery, an e-coli infection in that wound while it was healing that sent him back to the hospital. He had kidney failure and had to be on dialysis for a time, and ultimately prostate cancer. Watching him go in and out of the hospital, enduring numerous surgeries and recoveries, pain, and a multitude of issues was extremely difficult. Some might call that self-inflicted suffering. Could he have had an easier time if he had taken better care of himself? I think so yes. (I know, those that live in glass houses…) But, none of us gets out of this alive. That’s just a fact of life.

I loved my Dad so much. My Dad was famous for his big bear hugs. He was a big man and his hugs just seemed to envelop you. As someone once told me…his hugs felt safe (such a great compliment). But no one prepares you for the heartache of watching your parents fade away in front of you. As a little girl, your Dad is your hero. He seems bigger than life and has all the answers. Watching him deteriorate and eventually pass is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

My Mom, on the other hand, tried to take care of herself as much as she could. She loved to walk and was mobile and able to get around until the day she died. As someone in her 80s, she was on maybe 1 or 2 medications and always seemed to be in pretty decent health. However, she developed dementia. She had amazing talent and was able to play the piano and the organ by ear… beautifully. Even with her dementia, she never forgot how to do that. I have fond memories as a little girl of sitting back behind the church pulpit in the little room where the organ was kept and watching her play during the church service.

She lived with us for most of her remaining years and let me tell you… that is a completely different kind of suffering. I didn’t have to take care of her physical needs too much. But seeing your Mom, your best friend, your shopping buddy, your sounding board, and the one who was always in your corner, stand there in front of you as she tries to piece together who you are is a heartbreak I don’t wish on anyone. Yes, I lost my Mom on August 31, 2023. But actually, that was the second time I lost her. I lost my ‘Mom’ much earlier than that because of the disease of dementia. A disease that doesn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason to it. I don’t know if they still really know what causes it. My point being, sometimes we suffer through no fault of our own. The only thing I do know is that we all must go through some kind of suffering.

2 Corinthians 4:17 – ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.’

Human beings suffer. There’s no way around it. A lot of people like to put the blame on God. He’s not to blame. We suffer as a result of the sin that entered this world. We suffer because this world is an evil place. We suffer for the choices we make. But God can use our suffering. He is there to help us endure and even survive it. Our suffering shows us our desperate need for a Savior. Human beings suffer because we’re an imperfect people living in an imperfect world. But, you know who else suffered? Jesus Christ. He was perfect, with no sin. Yet, He suffered for us. He suffered and laid down His life so that we could spend enternity with no suffering. What an amazing, unending love that is!

Romans 8:18 – ‘For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.’

The thing is, we are on this earth for a relatively short amount of time. Eventually, our suffering will end and it will pale in comparison to the glory that awaits us in Heaven. Someone once asked me, if I could, would I want my parents back. That answer is a resounding NO. Why? Because I know where they are right now. They’re with Jesus. They’re having the greatest family reunion I could ever imagine. One thing I do know, while I miss them with all my heart, is that I’ll get to join in with that celebration one day. I’ll finally get another one of my Dad’s big bear hugs and if I’m really lucky… maybe my Mom will play the piano for me.

I love and miss you Mom & Dad….hope I make you proud.